Saturday, January 22, 2011

boobie confessions

I wanted to blog about this because I know there are a lot of other women who have gone through it, and want them to know it is OK. I know a lot of people are really judgy when it comes to the breast/bootle debate, and we as moms just need to be supportive of others choices, and be happy they are FEEDING their baby instead of worrying about how.

I have 3 children. With my first, she was jaundice. She wasn't too bad and was born in summer, so to help keep her from the lamp, when we got home we had to take her outside with nothing but a diaper and then suppliment with about an ounce of formula after nursing for her first week. I got some slack for it, and was so worried she would get "nipple confusion" that we fed her that ounce with a cup. Luckily her bili level went down, my milk came in, and we stopped supplimenting. But that week was stressful.

My second was the easiest. She was a total boobie girl.

With Vasili who was born this past Monday, he nursed well the first 12 hours. Then he was taken to the level II nursery for extremely low sugar levels. I was given a pump, and to bring his levels up he was given formula and an IV. I was devistated, because I knew he had to bring his levels up and quickly, and this was the best way. So I pumped on a 2 to 3 hour schedule, and they would bring a teeny syringe and suck up the colostrum (barely 5ml if that) and give it to him. When my milk came in, they would give it to him before the formula. The his bili level went up, and he had to spend time under the lights. He was in the level II nursery for 5 days. I was only allowed to nurse him for 2 of those days, and only twice a day. Everything else for him was formula, and for me it was pumping. I was worried he would not take the breast when we got him home. I like nursing. I know a lot of women who could not nurse because of situations like this. Pumping is aweful. It was bad enough I was a nervous wreck, home without a baby to care for, only able to spend short bursts of time at the hospital with him and not being able to hold him for too long.

When we got home this morning, He nursed pretty much all afternoon. I was lucky, even in the hospital he latched on really well and did nurse. I was greatful that at home he has nursed well, and so far I have not had to suppliment yet. We'll see how the next few days go. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

I will say that nursing is something most of us have to work at, not only with our first child but sometimes with each one of our children, because each child is different. It does take a while to get used to each child's nursing style. I wish I could say it was always easy. I do say I nurse because I am too lazy to fix a bottle :), but the truth is I am glad I have been able to nurse because I enjoy it. When nursing, just like when I am pregnant, I watch what I eat. For me, that says a lot, because I love food, and often love foods that are bad for me. Nursing keeps me in check.


  1. Well said! Congratulations, he is adorable. I breast fed mine and I loved it but they were both different and I had to sort it out as I went. I believe that negative input does not help a new Momma, there is too much to worry about let alone what everyone else thinks!

  2. I found your story very touching, well done and I hope V is better now. I have a 10 month old baby and breastfed her exclusively for 4 months, during which I had mastitis 3 times. After the 3rd mastitis I had a breast abscess, which had to be surgically removed. The doctors told me that I can continue breastfeed, but I decided to stop at that point as she took very well to the bottle. I was under so much pressure to breastfeed from the family, friends, and mainly - from myself!
    I was very stressed at the time and in huge amount of pain - plus 5 different antibiotics in about 5 months. Not fun.
    I have to say - all of these problems with breastfeeding really made me think that I don't want to have another child now. I know that I will be again under tremendous pressure to breastfeed etc. So, I'd rather not have another one.
    Now, I am getting pressured to have another one... Seriously, there is no way of pleasing some people...

    Best wishes,