I am trying to get a few projects ready to sew. We found out on this week that we are having a BOY! The girls are so excited, Evie because a brother won't bother her barbies and Serena because she can teach him how to play cars and soccer. After two girls though, all of our baby stuff is pink and purple! I don't even have a white onsie on hand.
I have Sufjan Stevens playing, I love listening to him. But my thoughts today for some reason are lead through how we relate to others. How sometimes we hurt others and do not even know it until much later, because it was something small we didn't realize we did. As opposed to how some people hurt others intentionally. I think it is easier to ask forgiveness for things we did not do on purpose, because we genuinely feel remorse after realizing we have done harm, where as those that harm intentionally have no remorse.
I think part of this is I am still trying to decide how I feel about how Serena was treated by the director of the preschool. Was it intentional? I know that it was not considered what was best for the child in this situation, but what was easiest for the adults involved. Which is why part of me hopes that is was pure laziness on her part she decided to act like that. But then I realize that she often pushes parents into testing their children for special needs. That part to me is intentionally malicious and unethical. Luckily Serena is over the fact that she heard the director and a teacher discussing her negatively. I wonder if the way she was treated by the adults was what triggered her behaviors in that classroom, since that is the only place where they happened?
I wish you peace.....I can relate to how hurt you are for your daughter and I am familiar to the rambling in your head about the long term effects this will have on her and how things were handled (or not handled). Sometimes it is hard to let go of the things that could have or did hurt our kids. I hope that in time the more you process it and the more you see your daughter being "OK" after this event that the pain will ease and the "brain ramble" (that is what I call it when things buzz in my mind constantly) will cease. But in the mean time....it is good to process.....
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